From friendships and family to first crushes, the teenage years bring new kinds of closeness. Practical, respectful guidance for young people and the adults who support them.
When people hear the word relationship, they often think of dating. Yet the connections that shape a young person’s life are much wider: parents and siblings, close mates, a favourite teacher, a coach, or a support worker who visits each week. Each of these bonds involves emotions, even though none of them is romantic. For the young people and families we support at home around Sydney, learning to manage all of these connections is part of growing up.
The teenage years usually bring more independence. Parents and carers start to step back and let you make more of your own decisions, which also means taking more responsibility for them. Along the way you will meet new people and new ideas, and questions about attraction, intimacy and how you treat others often become a big part of life.
No relationship is smooth all the time. Talking openly and showing respect go a long way towards keeping things on track. Every person deserves to feel safe and content with the people around them. It also pays to keep an open mind about others, because some of the strongest friendships begin with someone you never expected to get along with.
Attraction can be instant, or it can grow gradually as you get to know someone. Flirting is one way people test the waters or show interest, but it does not have to lead anywhere. People communicate very differently, and some show their feelings in quiet, easy-to-miss ways.
One rule never changes: flirting is not consent. A person being friendly or flirty with you is not agreeing to sex or to any advance they do not want. The same is true in reverse; flirting with someone does not mean you owe them anything at all.
Strong feelings for someone can appear out of nowhere, and that is completely normal. You get to decide what to do with them. You might keep them to yourself, tell the person, or talk to a trusted friend first.
Sharing how you feel takes courage. If the other person does not feel the same, it can sting and leave you feeling embarrassed. If they do, it could be the start of a great new connection.
Sometimes the situation is reversed and someone has feelings for you that you do not share. Respond with the kindness you would hope for yourself, and be honest and straightforward about where you stand.
Cheating means one partner is secretly physical or intimate with someone else. If you are the person who cheated, be honest with yourself about what happened and why. Blaming alcohol does not explain it, because people can still make decisions when they have been drinking. Some questions worth reflecting on:
If your answers point to the relationship not working, it may be fairer to end it honestly. If you want to stay together, understanding your reasons is an important step, and taking responsibility matters whichever way you go.
If you are the one who has been cheated on, feeling hurt, angry or confused is a natural reaction. Think about whether you can rebuild trust and whether you want to. You do not have to sort it out alone. Talk to someone you trust, such as a parent, carer or support worker, or contact Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800.
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